Yellowstone Rules

I don't mean “Yellowstone Rules” like “Yellowstone Rocks!” (although it does), but "Yellowstone Rules", like Yellowstone Regulations". Yellowstone National Park, as do all other national parks, has a number of rules that visitors must follow. Most are designed to protect the visitor from park hazards, or to protect the wildlife and natural features from park visitors. Most rules are pretty sensible. Like, stay on the boardwalks in the geyser basins, don't feed the bears, stay 75' from bison, and don't spit on the ground squirrels. But the list of rules is far from complete. Therefore I have produced my own addendum to the Yellowstone National Park Rules.

Myron's Rules for Enjoying Yellowstone National Park

1.  Expect the idiot driving the other vehicle to do something idiotic. When he does, blow the horn and make a rude gesture.

2.  When you are driving and see wildlife along the road side and want to stop, GET OFF THE FRIGGIN' ROAD! When you observe a violation of this rule, blow the horn and make a rude gesture.

3.  Bison are not afraid of highways or automobiles, for good reason. Honda vs. bison, the bison wins.

4.  When you see a bear, take 300 photos. Even that will not be enough.

5.  When you see 300 bison, take one photo. That will be more than enough.

6.  Don't try to take a picture of every single geyser, pool, hot spring and fumarole (Dorcas!)

7.  Don't try to remember the names and characteristics of every single geyser, pool, hot spring and fumarole (Myron!)

8.  Don't buy groceries in the park: $3.99 for a bag of marshmallows! You gotta be kidding!

9.  Don't buy fuel in the park: $4.099 for gasoline? YIKES! $4.399 for diesel? DOUBLE YIKES!

10.  When you step out from the camper in the morning, watch your step. Bison are everywhere and leave a foul reminder of their passing.

11.  Every visitor should at least try to communicate using English. It will endear you to the natives. You are, after all, in the United States of America.